After the whirlwind

Jobs book 40 and 6 says:
Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:

The good news is that God speaks. Even in the chaos of a whirlwind, a tornado.

Sometimes he spoke through the softness of the hands of my bride. Her gentle ways were the perfect balance for this hard charging mustang.
Since she’s gone, I find myself out of balance. The rhythm of the relationship we shared, kept me from careening off the path. Regularly.

Once when riding my mountain bike in a lightning storm and blinding rain during a race down Mount Crested Butte, I blasted into a boulder in the midst of a steep descent. Bam. Just like that I found myself head over heels, landing in the mud soaked ditch (formerly a bike trail) on jagged rocks amidst the trees and soft pine needles. It took me a while to get oriented and back on the bike.

This season feels like that. The path is narrow. It’s gullied out and steep, fraught with cliffs of danger on every side and unseen boulders, disguised by the murky water in the center of the path on which I’m riding. The thunder blasts away relentlessly as the fierce wind stands me on end. At times the rain of tears blind me. Careening uncontrollably, from the painful extraction of Jean from my side. It’s dangerous out here blasting down the steep slope past death’s mountain.
This year’s been a whirlwind of sorts. Like the tornado version Wikipedia describes.
In spite of the crash into the ditch back in Crested Butte, I finished the race. Shaken and shaking, bruised and battered but not terminal.
And now after the whirlwind,and the blinding rain, I’m praying that year two is gentler to me. I need a soft landing.