Finding north
My Dad was born in 1919. Slightly before GPS. Knowing where north was born and lived was essential to a farmer. Anyone. Still is… in my aged opinion. I can always visualize where I am in in any city if I can just find north. I run through in my mind… the corners that crossed our family farm and which direction i would go if at the corner, having found north. Keeps me directionally sane in the chaos of a city like Minneapolis Mn. where the north south interstates always seem to be named 35 E or 35 W . Go figure. Here I am 10 months out from the hell of watching my beauty die. I purused the pictures of Jean in January 2014 on a flight back from nowhere. It seems I just can’t quite find north. Oh… Jesus is there. Calling out and I hear a voice but can’t quite get my bearings. The chaos I find rolling around in my brain crowds out direction. I have always felt confident of what to do. How to be. Which way to go….
But north just eludes me. The tears that cloud my eyes and fall gently on the familiar Southwest Airlines seat back table remind me of my hurt, the damage, a rocked soul, powerlessness, .
Has anyone seen north?
I am riding in the shadow of my bride of almost 32 years. 
Some events in life seem to defy the laws of nature. Gravity ceases to exist and everything that was constant seems to be no more. This is one of those events. One day, as Jean used to say, we will find our “new normal”. I pray we can be as brave in the face of change as she was. Missing her with you…Judy
I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED NORTH STRAIGHT AHEAD, WHICHEVER WAY I AM FACING. I AM NOT A FARM GIRL AND AM DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENGED BUT WHEN IN DOUBT GO ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU, NOT FORGETTING TO LOOK UP AND SEE THE HAND OF GOD AND YOU MIGHT FIND NORTH.